WaterFilter.com

Healthy Guilt, Unhealthy Guilt

Guilt is the feeling that results when you tell yourself that you have done something wrong. HEALTHY GUILT

Healthy guilt is the feeling that occurs when you have actually done something wrong - such as deliberately harming someone. This is an important feeling, which results from having developed a conscience - a loving adult self who is concerned with your highest good and the highest good of all. People who never developed a conscience and feel no guilt or remorse over harming others are called sociopaths. These people have no loving adult self and can wreck havoc - stealing, raping, killing - without ever feeling badly about it.

Healthy guilt results in taking responsibility for our choices and being accountable for our actions. When we have not behaved in a way that is in our highest good and the highest good of all, our loving adult self will feel remorse and take over, doing whatever we have to do to remedy the situation.

UNHEALTHY GUILT

Unhealthy guilt results from telling yourself that you have done something wrong when you haven't actually done something wrong. For example, if you decide to do something for yourself with no intent to harm anyone, and someone gets upset with you for doing what you want instead of doing what he or she wants, what do you tell yourself? Here are some of the inner statements that can lead to unhealthy guilt:

"It's my fault that he is feeling angry."

"I should have done what she wanted instead of what I wanted. I have caused her to feel hurt."

"I'm being selfish in doing what I want to do."

"It's my duty to put myself aside and do what others want me to do."

"If he gets angry with me, then I must have done something wrong."

"If she is hurt, then I must have done something wrong."

Many of us have been trained to believe that we are responsible for others' feelings, so that when others are angry or hurt, it is our fault. But unless you deliberately intended to harm someone, his or her feelings are not your responsibility. Others get hurt when they take your behavior personally, and they get angry when they make you responsible for their feelings. But this does not mean that you are responsible for their feelings.

You are responsible for your own intent. When you intend to harm someone, then you are responsible for the results of that. But when you just want to take care of yourself with no intent to harm anyone - such as want some time alone when your partner wants to spend time with you - then you are not responsible for your partner's upset.

Unhealthy guilt comes from telling yourself a lie. When the wounded, programmed critical part of you takes over and tells you that doing what you want with no intent to harm anyone is wrong, that is when you will feel unhealthy guilt. This critical part of you wants to control how others feel about you, and so tells you the lie that you are responsible for others' feelings.

Unhealthy guilt also arises when someone blames you for his or her feelings and you take on the blame. Many people have learned to blame others for their feelings rather than take responsible for their own feelings. When you accept this blame, it is because you want to believe that you can control others' feelings. You will feel unhealthy guilt when you accept blame for others' feelings.

Healthy guilt is an important feeling and leads to positive action, but unhealthy guilt is a waste of energy.

Margaret Paul, Ph.D., best-selling author of eight books, including "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You? and co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding healing process. FREE Inner Bonding course at: http://www.innerbonding.com. Phone sessions available. mailto:margaret@innerbonding.com.

MORE ARTICLES:

Coffee and Gallstones
Coffee and Gallstones

New Report Says Longer Healthy Life Expectancy Multiplies Seniors Competing in Sports and Keeping Fit
Medical and public health advances doubled life expectancy and greatly extended healthy life years over the last century. These trends have made it far more possible for more people in mid life and later to compete in sports and exercise to stay fit. Sports and fitness activities provide the physical activity needed for good health, there are many more opportunities for older people to compete in sports and participate in fitness, and technological improvements have made participation easier and prevented and mitigated injuries. The state of the economy and individual motivation will determine whether older people continue to increase their participation in sports and fitness.

Free Hoodia pills Pure Hoodia Gordonii Diet Pills Realy Work
Hoodia diet pills H-oodia Certified 100% Pure Hoodia Gordonii Diet Pills! now you can loss weight with a natural diet pills Hoodia diet pills the best and easiest way for the weight loss ,Hoodia diet pills kills the appetite and attacks obesity, is organic with no synthetic or artificial appetite control agents, Hoodia diet pills has no known side effects, contains a miracle molecule (up to 100,000 times more powerful than glucose) that fools the brain into believing you are full, and even stops you from thinking about food. But it actually does MORE...

IVF with Genetic and Chromosomal Testing of Embryos Can Improve Chances of Having a Healthy Child
In vitro fertilization (IVF) combined with a procedure called Preimplantation Genetic Diagnosis (PGD) can improve a woman's chances of having a healthy baby when there is a family history of inherited genetic diseases or conditions, or if a patient has experienced miscarriages caused by embryo chromosomal abnormality according to fertility expert Dr. Andrew Levi.

Frugal Microwave Cooking
Microwave cooking can save you time and energy all year long. But it is especially nice in summer because it enables you to cook hot meals without heating up your home.

How To Convert Your Car To Run On Water?
Can you really convert your car to run on water

Former LSU Bench Warmer Creates Site to Inform Bottled Water Consumers
John Hinds highlights the biggest misconception regarding bottled water. Additionally, John is providing a free report for consumers that details three ways they can get purified water right from their faucets.

Healthy Cooking Does Not Mean Eating Bland And Boring Food
Eating healthy should always be a priority. Healthy eating can be accomplished by simply changing eating habits and changing the methods you use to cook. There is no need to cook bland or boring dishes, many options are available. Understanding the flavors your dishes use means eating well and feeling well.

Water Filters Work For Your Health
Water filters are an essential component of a healthy lifestyle. Whether you have a countertop water filter, refrigerator water, whole house water filter or others, having clean, filtered water in your house is more important than you may even realize. To begin with, most tap contains VOCs. VOCs, or volatile organic compounds, include a variety of chemicals that can cause negative health conditions, both short-term and long-term. Along with being found in tap water, VOCs are found in thousands of products including glues, paints and pesticides. Short-term effects of VOCs include irritation of the eye, nose and throat, headaches and nausea.

Other Reasons To Clean Your Carpet
When your carpet starts to look bad what do you do? You call the carpet cleaner because you want a clean floor. Yes, it is true that clean carpets look much better but there are other reasons to clean your carpet. Read this article to learn about some of the other reasons to clean your carpet that are just as important as looks.

Mortgage Insurance Provides a Replacement Income if You Lose Your Own
Mortgage insurance is a versatile payment protection product that would provide an income allowing you to cover your mortgage repayments You are able to take cover for a fixed sum each month and if you should lose your own income you would be able to fall back on your policy

Georgette’s Grounds & Gifts Launches Georgettes.org to Market Fair Trade Organic Coffee and Gifts
Georgette’s Grounds & Gifts, a fair trade coffee and gift shop based in Maumee, Ohio, has launched Georgettes.org to market fair trade, organic coffees and gifts from Ten Thousand Villages and other fair trade organizations.

U.S Companies Much More Active in Promoting Exercise and Healthy Eating But Junk Food Laden Vending Machines Tell Another Story
13th Annual "Attitudes in the American Workplace" Poll conducted by Harris Interactive for The Marlin Company

The Art Of Learning The Art Of Fine Cooking
When we talk about "The art of fine cooking" some people get a bit confused about what this means They think it has to do with the fact that fine cooking will taste better then their own cooking but that not is really true